


Death Of Hope

by CharlieandtheWinchesterfactory



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Emotionally Hurt Dean Winchester, Slipknot - Freeform, Snuff, Song fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-13
Updated: 2020-01-13
Packaged: 2021-02-27 07:34:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 806
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22243414
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CharlieandtheWinchesterfactory/pseuds/CharlieandtheWinchesterfactory
Summary: Best read if listening to Snuff by Slipknot.
Kudos: 1





	Death Of Hope

**Author's Note:**

> Best read if listening to Snuff by Slipknot.

_[Snuff- Slipknot ](https://youtu.be/W9y8aUi3qFY) _

_Bury all your secrets in my skin_

_Come away with innocence and leave me with my sins_

_The air around me still feels like a cage_

_And love is just a camouflage for what resembles rage again_

Knowing that Cas had betrayed us hurt. Knowing that he betrayed _me_ hurt. We were supposed to be a team and he went behind _my_ back and sided with Crowley. He said everything he was doing was for us, but I could see right passed that. He was doing this for _him._

_So if you love me let me go_

_And run away before I know_

_My heart is just too dark to care_

_I can't destroy what isn't there_

The look on his face when I told him that if he went through with this we were done is scarred into my brain. The way his face fell and his eyes saddened before he schooled his features and became emotionless. The hollowness behind his eyes as he told me that if that's what it came to then fine. The sorrow that filled his eyes before he flew off.

_Deliver me into my fate_

_If I'm alone I cannot hate_

_I don't deserve to have you_

_Ooh, my smile was taken long ago_

I snapped at Sam when he asked if I was okay. It was such a stupid question to ask a person who had just broken up with their boyfriend. I couldn't help but snap at him. He didn't deserve it though. None of us deserved this.

_If I can change I hope I never know_

Sam's brain is fucked up. Since _Castiel_ broke down the wall keeping all of the memories from hell he's been fucked up. He's been having hallucinations and freaking out around everyone.

_I still press your letters to my lips_

_And cherish them in parts of me that savor every kiss_

_I couldn't face a life without your light_

Seeing Castiel hurt. The flash of sadness when he looked at me before he looked away makes my heart break. I had to call him to fix Lisa. I had to call him to force _me_ out of her and Ben's mind. I wasn't expecting the regret that I felt seeing Cas.

_But all of that was ripped apart when you refused to fight_

I tried to tell him that we could fix this. He just had to stop trying to open the door to Purgatory and we could be happy again. We could be _us_ again. "I can't do that, Dean" was all he said before he flew off to see Crowley.

_So save your breath, I will not care_

_I think I made it very clear_

_You couldn't hate enough to love_

_Is that supposed to be enough?_

He chose Crowley over me. I didn't expect him to come running back to me, but it hurt knowing he chose that demon scum over me.

_I only wish you weren't my friend_

_Then I could hurt you in the end_

_I never claimed to be a saint_

_Ooh, my own was banished long ago_

Seeing the smile that was placed on his face as he told us he was our new God made me fear him. I didn't want to fear him. I _loved_ him.

_It took the death of hope to let you go_

Watching or listening to what _Godstiel_ was doing sickened me. That wasn't _my_ Cas. My Cas was heroic and courageous. That Cas was a monster.

_So break yourself against my stones_

_And spit your pity in my soul_

_You never needed any help_

_You sold me out to save yourself_

When Cas let us close the door to Purgatory and put the monster back I hoped everything would go back to normal. I knew there was a high chance of losing Cas. Of losing the only man I had ever loved as much as I loved him.

_And I won't listen to your shame_

_You ran away, you're all the same_

He looked _broken_. Bloody and lost and nothing like the Cas I knew.

_Angels lie to keep control_

"I'm sorry, Dean" Cas had said before the door opened and all of the monsters were pulled out of his body. Had said before the door closed and my best friend crumbled to the ground.

_Ooh, my love was punished long ago_

_If you still care don't ever let me know_

His trench coat is still in the trunk of Baby. I lost the man that gave me hope. And now Leviathans are running around and I can't do anything about it. I can't bring back Cas. I can't feel anything. I stopped when the man I loved walked into that lake. Taking my heart with him.

_If you still care don't ever let me know_


End file.
